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[17 Sep 2008|10:46pm] |
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" the oh so familiar phrase we all memorized in school as the opening phrase of A Tale of Two Cities is no longer synonymous with Charles Dickens, today each and everyone of us in the states are feelings the chilling effects of the record breaking events that have flipped this country upside down.
In the past ten days capitalism as we know it has been forever changed. In the past 10 days
-The government has seized control of Fannie and FreddieMac,
- Lehman Brothers Holdings, filed for bankruptcy on Monday
- The Treasury Department will begin selling bonds for the Federal Reserve in an effort to help the central bank deal with unprecedented borrowing needs resulting from the current credit crisis.
-Late Tuesday night the Federal Reserve announced it was providing an $85 billion emergency loan to the country's largest insurance company.. thanks to the average Joe's, America's tax payers.
- Wall Street dropped 500 points on Monday, and just two days later plunged yet another catastrophic 449 points on Wednesday.
- Bank of America said Monday it will buy Merrill Lynch in a $50 billion deal
- Washington Mutual is going bankrupt..
etc
The Butterfly Effect is making is presence sending ripple waves of disaster across the country and world, in just 10 days, Maybe I had something to do with it, in the past 10 days, I quit my job at UC Irvine, started working in LA for Fuel TV and Fox Sports International, got a boyfriend, turned 21 and bought a place in Santa Monica.. WOW.. amazing to think how much can be packed in 10 days, less than two weeks, my life has dramatically changed for the better as the nation around me drastically crumbles to pieces.
Charles Dickens was right.. it really is the best and worst of times. Sure were all in a crunch here, but each and everyone of us, rich or poor, is feeling the aftershocks of the past two weeks. We all need to get through this together, realizing we cant be as much of a consumer culutre, that we can't always depend on our economic government to "do the right thing"
,,,
[will finish later]
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[06 Sep 2008|08:50pm] |
My job is amazing. I work in the Music Department working with music/band contracts, licensing, and royalties for every song played on every show/promo on the entire station for Fuel TV.. it only been working there for three days, but man.. my job = fucking amazing, regardless of the commute. I have to pinch myself every morning to make sure I am not dreaming, it all seems so surreal that I work not only for Fox Studios, but that I work in the music industry.. my work is not considered work, since i LOVE doing it. It's OMG amazing.. I wish you all could see how I talk about it, I get all giddy and hyper/ excited. :D
I love life, things have been finally going in my favor, I have close to my dream job, I have amazing friends, I'm moving to Los Angeles/Santa Monica asap my roommates will be cool/fun, my parents are extremely supportive of me following my dream, and I have a guy who sees nothing but perfection in me and see nothing that needs/should be changed, he likes me exactly how I am.. How amazing is that? he makes me so happy. Sure things might be like this because we're still in the beginning stages of our relationship, but still things are nice. His friends love me to death.. Jeremiah even told me that he's talk to Josh.. telling him that he better not fuck things up with me because I have so much going for me and that I am amazing and everyone likes me.. and that if he (Josh) fucks things up with me, they'll continue being my friend regardless of what Josh does or says. It's comforting knowing that all his friends I have met love me.. and my friends really like him too.. they've turned into harsh critics for all the guys I bring over.. I mean my track record.. at least the guys I have brought over have turned into assholes and fucked me over.
,,, im at kira's ill finish this laterrr
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[05 Sep 2008|01:57am] |
I love LOVE my job at FUEL TV, best decision I have made in a long long long time.
ill tell you guys more about it later..
I work contracts/licensing/royalties for every song played on FUEL TV and during our promo spots. create music cues for every show.
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| Change is hard. TALK SOME SENSE INTO ME PLEASE |
[02 Sep 2008|06:24am] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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music |
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Athlete - Best Not To Think About It |
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As a continuation to my post yesterday... i slept on it and I am still unsure of what to do, of what is going to happen... It's a HUGE pay cut.. it's a 50 mile one way commute.. 100 miles a day .. 500 miles a week commute to my new job at FOX Studios. I am super scared to move for some reason.. I guess it's just that change of any kind.. transition of any kind is hard. At least I know I an get a job back at UC Irvine.
Maybe it's also the relationship I just started with Josh, it is going to be hard not seeing him everyday and spending my weekends with him (and on his boat in Dana Point). He lives 10 minutes away from me right now, so i've spent a lot of time with him, +/- his friends, +/- my friends.
Josh and his family totally support me working up in L.A. (my family does too) and tell me I am still young and might as well take the chance/opportunity while I can. His family really likes me a lot, because I have so much going for me, and that I am sweet and all that. Anywho I guess I should tell you a bit about Josh (Joshua David). He'll be 19 in October (young i know.. but he makes me super happy and he is mature for his age), he's going to school as an Art major. He's a fraternal twin with his brother Justin. He has a two boats and on our first date (which lasted a weekend) he took me fishing, kayaking, see*doing, boating. He spent a year living in Indiana, been to lots of places in the U.S, Scuba dives, he can cook, sew, and is a really good artist. His friends really like me, said I am the number one girl he has brought around and that they all approve of me, and all my friends have said the same about him.
He has still yet to meet my parents, but i am not worried, as long as I am happy that is all my parents care about. He treats me well and I honestly get the tingles.. that feeling when we kiss and I an just lay in bed with him all day and be happy.. but I am taking it one day at a time and being careful because I am so scared of getting hurt again.. even though i don't think he would ever hurt me. oh yea.. the sex has been amazing :X! haha.
Today is my last day at UC Irvine.. I cried on Friday and I know I will cry today too and I hate crying and I hate goodbyes... I have it soooo good there FUCK.
anywho someone talk some sense into me PLEASE.. i need it
FUEL TV is apart of FOX Studios.. its a non contract job until December. it's heading the direction I want to go. I am sitting in my office at UC Irvine and realizing how amazing I have it here.. I guess i have to stop regretting and just go with the flow.. I was so stoked on being offered the job that now I don't know.. I guess i can see if they have more money... so pretty much I have job till December then who knows if i will get more pay or not. I guess I can always come back to UC Irvine if worst case scenario and my 5 year track will restart but guess working in the Industry is a job a lot of people would kill for. Plus working in this job at FUEL TV (action sports) opens so many doors.
My parents are going to help me out to help me put financially so I am able to live in LA and have health insurance and live a life, totally unexpected of them to do so, but WOW. :)
So tomorrow at 10AM i start my new job/life in LA ( i still need an apartment though)
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[01 Sep 2008|11:58pm] |
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So much has happend over the past month, so many changes have happened. I quit my job at UC Irvine and I start at Fuel TV on Wednesday. I have a new guy who i've fallen hard for, even though he's alot younger than me. im super scared to move, i don't want to leave what i have just started and what i have made for myself down here, but i have to strike while the iron is hot and take the opportunity while i can. I was/have been super excited to start at FUEL... and now i don't knoww.. i am so shakey about it.. i don't want to commute.. i don't want to move..i love it so much what i have here at UCI .. in irvine.. in tustin.. in orange.. all myfriends and "boyfried" live here, not there.. FUCK on a stick...I need to get ready for the water works tomorrow at UCI, i hate saying goodbyes. i have it so good there... I am takng paycut to work at fuel, and it's a test/temp/internship until December and then tey decide if they want to hire me as a head. So it's extremely risky.. but at the same time.. it can open so many doors.. I honestly still am unsure if i am making the right choice... i should of talked to my parents this weekend.. i can still change my mind.. i think.. ahhhh fuck i don't know what to do. I dont have it in writing about the job.. fuck.. i don't know what i'll be doing... i don't think i want to take it anymore.. i dont know.. i know this is a shitty entry.. but fuck... i think i just need sleep.. to sleep on it.. fuck.. i am giving up so much at UCI to do.. god knows what at FUel.. and it's in la... mother f'er
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[11 Aug 2008|03:13pm] |
F YEAH FEST BENEFIT TOMORROW / WAREHOUSE PARTY
Tomorrow night, August 12th we are putting on a benefit so we can continue to do events like the Fuck Yeah Fest, LA Scavenger Hunt & various shows all over Los Angeles. Here is an explanation why we are setting up this event….
Now we are well over $15k in debt. We do not have a financial backer to pull me out of this and it is impossible to get a loan when you are 23 years old and the only thing you own is a car worth about $400.
Tomorrows show is to raise a few dollars so we can continue to do events. If you can’t make it to the show but would like to make a donation please use the paypal link below. 100% of your contribution will go towards keeping these events alive and will allow us to continue to grow. Anything you can donate will help us tremendously.
http://www.fyeahfest.com/
F Yeah Fest Benefit
Tuesday, August 12th
Crystal Antlers
Brother Reade
Tweak Bird
Totally Michael
Slang Chickens
@ 6th St Warehouse
1269 E. 6th St.
LA, CA
$6 / 9:00pm
everyone please go and support
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| IM HOME |
[10 Aug 2008|10:58pm] |
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music |
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John Vanderslice - Pale Horses |
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im back from an amazing 8 days in paradise.
pictures and details to come.
ps.. i look brazilian now because of my tan
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[10 Aug 2008|10:52pm] |
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| PEACE! |
[01 Aug 2008|11:04pm] |
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music |
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the crickets outside my window |
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See you fools in 8 days!
Leave me love to come home to.. or not.. up to you..
<3
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[01 Aug 2008|04:37pm] |
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music |
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Lovage- To Catch a Theif |
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My bags are half packed
so not ready to go
Im sitting here inside at work
I have to be here to pay the bills
the time is ticking
its getting late
I leave early morn
im so pressed for time
with so much to do
Come next 'morn Im leaving on a airplane
eight days and ill be abck again
Oh well, I'm stoked to go!
Hah... lame i know.. i tried my own randition to John Denver's Leaving on a Jet Plane.. but lets hope i don't die :( I am so sleepy, i hardly got any sleep last night and I have so much to do before i leave tomorrow. AHHHH! my fault for procrastinating *slaps self* oh well.. it's not like I need that much down there anyway, just books and swimsuits and my dive gear.
I'll be gone for 8 days, so short but better than nothing.. and as for internet access down there, it varies.. we used to have to drive 45min north to use phone and internet! Theres pay phones in town (2mile walk from my house) and we have Skype but the internet cuts in and out there, especially with all the Tropical Storms that usually knock out the power.. yea sounds rural/rustic.. but that how I like it.. its a place to go where you leave all your worries and troubles at immigration.. and just scuba dive.. read.. siesta... happy hour/dinner.. sea turtle watch (hatching season) then star gaze (no light pollution.. trillions of stars twinkling above and moonlight reflecting off the calm glass like waters of the tranquil Caribbean Sea)
Tonight=pack pack pack!
A picture of Media Bahia de Luna (Half Moon Bay) this from my bedroom balcony.!
was taken last year.. you can see the rain on the left and the water vortex about to touch down.. but from where I'm taking the picture its bright and sunny!
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| Brink of the Clouds/Candyland |
[31 Jul 2008|09:29am] |
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music |
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Les Savy Fav - New Teen Anthem |
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A lot of interesting things went down these past few weeks. Two of my good friends got DUIs on the same night [two nights ago], my friend got engaged (but isn't making it final until there is a ring). I went out on a date with Matt while he was back in town and we ended up really hitting it off, but he leaves back home for Florida today :'( So well see what the future has in store for us. Damn distance!!
I found out my friend Tony got run over by a car.. broke a rib, his tibia, collar bone, clavicle. right leg.. can't remember what else he broke.. he's finally out of the hospital and is now resting up at home.
I finally went to the fair!!! For a really short period of time but FINALLY went. I still haven't picked up my charger or dropped off some treats to Evan yet, but oh well :/ it sucks not having working headlights!! My convertible top finally got fixed.. well replaced cost a hefty 1200 bucks.. and i can't put the top down for 10 days and when i finally can put it down I have to go BACK to the shop and have them lower it for me to make sure it goes down slowly and retains its shape.. The top is a tad bit different than the original, the back window is larger and there is less stitching n the sides of the top.. but as much as i love kira i cant visit her in my car anymore.. i don't want that lil fuck (some lil 15 year old who's in a gang) to fuck up my car again ... he also molested me that night.. but yea.. *ahem* anydoodle I should have called the cops.. but those fuckers didn't help me when i needed them for something way more serious that put me in the hospital and made me catatonic for like a week.
Sorry I'm being very vague on lots of subjects here.
When I get back from mexico on the 10th, i go up to Fuel on tuesday.. Friday night leave for a road trip up to Redding and come home sunday night/monday morning to visit friends...
Tonight after work I have to make a quick run to Target to get some more swimsuits, run to Forever 21 to do some last minute shopping and then be home before the sun sets, as well as finish packing....YAY for no headlights! Today Katie is picking me up from work for lunch, I FINALLY get to see her its been months!!
I need to go apartment shopping/hunting.. i need to be out of my current on by my birthday Sept 10 (FINALLY 21).., it just sucks how expensive everything is in Irvine.. i wanna live close to campus so I can walk to work and class but if i got my own room (which I need and want) rent is going to be around $1,000 which is ridiculous!)
***** SO if anyone needs a roommate around the UCI Area (Anywhere in Irvine/newport beach would be fine too) let me know!!!
***** Also, I need good books to read while I am in Mexico, though I am only gone for 8 days i usually read around 3 books while I'm down there.. Does anyone have names of books that you feel are must reads, that I should bring down with me?
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| Back in Business |
[30 Jul 2008|10:23pm] |
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music |
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Mystery Jets - Horse Drawn Cart |
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I got a job with Fuel TV working in the music marketing and music promotion department, help run the Daily Habit show, book musical acts, set their show music playlist.. umm not sure what else i'll do..
I already had a 3 way interview with Shon Tomlin (VP of Fuel TV) and Daryl Berg (Director, Music Supervision and Licensing) They loved me and so I am going in on Tuesday 12th to meet everyone fill out my paperwork and all that JAZZ
:D
hell yess
FUEL TV here I come
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[30 Jul 2008|08:57am] |
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music |
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Nine Black Alps - Cosmopolitan |
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So this will be a quick entry for now, more to come this afternoon....
For those of you who don't live in Southern California, we had a 5.8 Earthquake yesterday at 11:45am with the epicenter in Chino Hills (20 miles from my house), it's the first big one I remember feeling since 2005. I was at work and at first thought it was some kid running up and down the halls (believe me, it happened last week and my boss yelled earthquake.. but no it was just some kid sprinting down the hallway).
Lots of bad shit went down last night.. not going to go into too much detail about it, but it left me in tears and my dad and I almost about to send out a search party....
Leave for my place in Mexico on Saturday!!!
Some Shows Coming Up
Jul 31 - PinBack @ Samueli Theatre (maybe)
Aug 13 - Wallpaper, Scissors for Lefty @ Club Moscow OR HIMSA in Seattle, WA
Aug 23 - Menomena, Cold War Kids, Broken Social Scene, Bodies of Water, Happy Hollow @ Sunset Junction
Aug 28- Nada Surf @ Samueli Theatre
Aug 30 F Yeah Fest 5
Aug 31 F Yeah Fest 5
Sep 9 - Damien Jurado @ Spaceland
Sep 17 - Foals
Sep 24- OKKERVIL RIVER @ Belly Up Tavern
Sep 26 -Austin City Limits
Sept 27- Austin City Limits
Sept 28- Austin City Limits
Oct 1- My Bloody Valentine
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| F YEAH FEST 5 |
[29 Jul 2008|10:50am] |
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music |
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All That and A Bag of Chips - Masquerade |
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@ the Echo, EchoPlex & Jensen Rec Center
1154 Glendale Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
All Ages / $16 / 4:00pm
F YEAH FEST 5
Day One: Saturday, August 30th
NO AGE
NEGATIVE APROACH
GLASS CANDY
MATT AND KIM
TWO GALLANTS
FUCKED UP
LADYHAWK
CRYSTAL ANTLERS
DAVID VANDERVELDE
SILVER GHOST
BEST FWENDS
HIGH PLACES
WAR TAPES
MIKA MIKO
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD TO CANDYLAND
MONOTONIX
DAVID DONDERO
ABE VIGODA
THE STRANGE BOYS
MANNEQUIN MEN
FRANK FAIRFIELD
GRAHAM FOREST
NODZZZ
60 WATT KID
+ many more bands that will be announced shortly.
A comedy show will take place with Josh Fadem, Matt Braugner, Jonah Ray + a dozen more comics.
**** There will also be a taco eating contest, a kissing booth, probably a dozen vendors selling records, a mariachi band, dozens of street performers entertaining you while you stand in line (for real) & a number of other things that will pass the time.
F YEAH FEST 5:
Day Two: Sunday, August 31st
LA Scavenger Hunt 08'
This year we decided to make the fest a little more interesting. After the F Yeah Tour we realized that we had to go back to our roots of doing more then simply putting on shows and focusing on events that have nothing to do with music. This is why we are organizing an all day scavenger hunt to kick off the second day of the F Yeah Fest.
We are doing this for all of you that have never participated in scavenger hunt as a kid, also for those of you who live like we do and strive off child like activities such as dodgeball, hide and seek, and capture the flag. For those of you that just want to have fun. That's exactly what this event is about. HAVING FUN.
At the first LA Scavenger Hunt we had more then five hundred participants. People of all ages attended this event. It was great to see a sixteen year old punk kid with a Limp Wrist shirt chat with a middle aged architect while waiting in line to sign up. This was in some ways an accomplishment because it was the first time that we organized an event that brought such a diverse group of people together. And this is what we want to bring back. This scavenger hunt is for everyone. Let's make this the best day of summer.
Here are the details for the event.
About:
The hunt will take place on Sunday, August 31st and will start at 2pm at the Echo Park Lake. It will end at a yet to be determined location in Echo Park at 7:00pm. The hunt is all ages & open to the public.
The List & Teams:
The list for the hunt is made up of 100 items. Each item is worth a certain amount of points. The team with the most points at 7:00pm wins the grand prize. Teams are made up of 2 to 5 people. Each team must have a name. Your team should be like one of the gangs in the movie, the Warriors. Wear matching uniforms (this is not necessary but HIGHLY recommended), face paint, and make sure to scream a lot.
Items & Points:
Here is an example of some of the items that were on the list to the last scavenger hunt.
Everyone on the team gets cornrows and extended fingernails. Must be real cornrows.
One Person on the team getting a flat top with their name shaved into the back of their head.
Life size cut out of Eazy E.
Gay Porno magazine pre 1987
Photograph of team member kissing a stranger on the lips. 50 extra points if they are a senior citizen.
**The grand prize for the hunt will be $2,500 in prizes, $500 in cash and the largest bottle of whiskey to man. If you are not of age then you will get a keg of pepsi. Go to the website to see the rest of the info. www.fyeahfest.com
Sunday, August 31st
POLVO
Trans Am
The Drones
8:00pm / $15 / All Ages
*$12 if you participate in the hunt
Sunday, August 31st
Special Guest Headliner
Hit Me Back
Final Fight
Broken Needle
@ the Smell
8:00pm / $7 / All Ages
And last. Sunday, August 31st
DAN DEACON
AT A SECRET LOCATION THAT WILL NOT BE ANNOUNED TILL THE DAY OF THE SHOW. THIS WILL BE CRAZY. SIGN UP FOR OUR MAILING LIST SO YOU CAN RECEIVE INFO ABOUT THE SHOW AND WILL MAKE SURE EVERYONE FROM THE SCAVENGER HUNT GETS IN.
8:00pm / ALL AGES
OTHER SHOWS THAT WE ARE PUTTING ON DURING F YEAH FEST WEEKEND
Friday, August 29th
The Melvins
Negative Approach
Big Business
@ the Glasshouse
$16 / 7:00pm / All Ages
Friday, August 29th
Hot Water Music
Strike Anywhere
+1 more
@ the El Rey
$23 / 8:00pm / All Ages
Friday, August 29th
ICP
@ secret location
FREE / ALL AGES / 10:00pm
Saturday, August 30th
Hot Water Music
Strike Anywhere
+1 more
@ the Glasshouse
$20 / 7:00pm / All Ages
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[28 Jul 2008|02:05pm] |
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music |
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The Lovely Feathers - Frantic |
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I am trying yet again to keep up with daily or every other day entries. I have lacked the consistent updates on the many other blogging sites I have given into (twitter and blog-spot), so I am kind of all over the place with my ever changing and busy life.
SO if you want to read up on what's been going on feel free to visit my Blogspot ( I will not bore you with backdating my posts on lj to match them) My Blog-spot Blogger
I am currently apartment hunting trying to find ones in walking distance to work (to the UC Irvine job). I have found a few, so we'll see what happens.
This weekend I hung out with Courtney who came with me to the Rocky Votolato show, after the Rocky show we drove around Hollywood, went to a few parties and then went back to her apartment in Echo Park where we hung out with Rachael, Cory and Luke..
On Saturday, i went on a 12 mile bike ride, volunteered at the SheaCenter, then had had late lunch with Ana and Adelaide wen home and read and finished Keeping Faith and then went to hang out with Kira. I totally missed the At the Gates show at the GlassHouse :(. I actually had Pinkberry for the first time ever on saturday night. It was good but it wasn't as amazing as the hype made it. I honestly like Cherry on Top (self-self) and Golden Spoons better.
On Sunday I drove down to La Mesa to hang out with Matty (who's back in town visiting from Florida), the whole situation seemed a lot like the movie Garden State, minus me having a crazy hamster cage set up (though i DO have a hamster) and there's no videos of me ice skating. *chuckles* We saw the movie Step Brother, which to my surprise wasn't that bad, it was actually a decent movie, wasn't TO over the top on typical Will Ferrell humor, I actually might buy it when it comes out on video, add it to myt ever growing DVD collection. The movie really made me want to build a tree house!! After the movies we walked around the mall, I of course fulfilled my chocolate cravings with some Cold Stone.. it was the first time I have had cold stone in over 2 years.. i think ill stick to my frozen yogurt or soy ice cream over Cold Stone.. though it was uber delicious, it was a little to gluttonous. We went to the bookstore :D and I bought the Hunter S. Thompson book, and reminded myself the huge list of books i have that i want to read.
Then we drove around some, and then went back to his place and watched Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I had to leave early due to having NO working headlights. I left with ample amount of time but of course I hit traffic and instead of taking the usual hour to get home from SD area it took me a whopping 3 HOURS! I had to speed home using my FOG lights praying i wouldn't get a ticket *phew* and I lucked out. Matt and I are hanging out again on Tuesday (if i can borrow a car with working headlights)
Reason why my headlights don't work is because the switch in the fuse box doesn't work. apparently its been a noted problem with the older BMW models.
OOO on wednesday I get the top fixed (to make a long story short.. the day i got my car back from the shop and bought it off my parents some lil fucker cut a HUGE part of my convertible top off)
on a side note i STILL have yet to see: Dark Knight, Wall-E, and Surfrider SurfWISE. I have been going on an almost weekly outing to the local indie art house movie theatre that's next to my house (2 mile walk).
My friend Todd (yes Todd from Utah) is back visiting in Cali, his band has a show on Wednesday at the Whiskey.
Vanna (my friend's band from Boston) is in town till Aug 24th recording in Anaheim. I still have yet to pick up my charger from Evan, so i'll probably be hanging out with them before i leave for mexico on Saturday.
other than that..
OO huge news.. I started eating fish again.. yup after not eating it for 13 years I finally gave in.. So now i guess i am a pescatarian.
F YEAH Fest 5 Line up has been announced.. i will post after work on the amazing events.
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[27 Jul 2008|10:15pm] |
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music |
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fireHOSE- Under the Influence of the Meat Puppets |
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In less than a week I'll be in sunny gorgeous paradise, Akumal, Mexico.
Ugg i can not wait! Scuba diving, reading, snorkeling, siesta/walking along the beach, happy hour, dinner, sleep. repeat.
I had a really fun weekend, More on that laterrrrr
Im now reading (yes i finished Keeping Faith).. Fear and Loathing in America - The Gonzo Letters Volume II by Hunter S. Thompson
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| Mighty Mighty |
[26 Jul 2008|10:44am] |
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music |
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Bowerbirds - In Our Talons |
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Its kinda funny the way things work out in life, how things change, how we evolve, how things don't always go according to plan. Looking back reading old posts on here, it really surprises me how far I've come from the girl I used to be, sure the dynamics have changed. I'm no longer stuck in a downward spiraling relationship, I am honestly happy even though I am single. YES, little emotional basket case here has finally realized the power of being happy 99% of the time, always trying to spin everything into a positive. Even if things aren't exactly how'd I like them to be, life is always better if you smile.
I want to move, to try something new. Though I do have a job opportunity/offer to work for FUEL TV in the music department, which I AM going to take, and as much as I love the warm sunny skies of Southern California, parts of me wants to move to San Francisco, to Portland, to Seattle to anywhere but here, to try new experiences, meet fresh new faces. I have the whole world in front of me. With my job at UC Irvine I can transfer to ANY UC campus, which is comforting knowing I can move and still have a GOOD job, and be able to go back to school (which i honestly REALLY miss school).
I've been reading A LOT, and just finished an incredible book.. actually all the books I have read with the exception of a few have been amazing and must reads. The one I just finished the other day is called My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Its about this girl who was conceived via preimplatation genetic diagnosis, to be a genetic match to her older sister who has a rare form of leukemia, the girl Ana ends up suing her parents for medical emancipation. The book is amazingly well written and just heart wrenching.
The book i just started is called Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult, which is about this girl, Faith, who catches her father with another woman, Faith develops stigmata (she had no previous religious background). Its a book that explores a family plagued by the media, the medical profession, and organized religion in a world where everyone has an opinion but no one knows the truth.
Anywhoo.....
Last night i saw Rocky Votolato and Owen.. acoustic. Such an incredibly amazing show, Rocky is honestly one of my favorite singers ever.
more about the show to come.
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[25 Jul 2008|01:18pm] |
Oh the joys of snuggling up in those fresh-out of the dryer blankets on a cold overcast day, paired perfectly with a good book, a cup of hot coffee or tea, and a crackling warm fire that fills the air with its unique but comforting aroma. It's the little moments, these little joys that make life worth living. Escaping the bustling cacophony of the world around us, diving into new worlds getting lost in stories of exciting adventures or a stepping/ joining another's life, books can take you anywhere in any era for free.
As much as I love social interaction, being surround by familiar friendly faces as well as meeting new ones, there's some days where I just simply shut off my phone, locking myself away from the outside world, taking some much needed "me" time.
I usually spend so much time focusing on others needs that I forget about the most important person in life, myself; I'm not trying to sound conceded or self-centered, believe me I am the polar opposite, but in all actuality the only person in each of our lives that counts the most, is ourselves, you only have you. Sure we have friends, family, and those that go in and out of our lives sometimes in an instant and others who just float around; but if you stop and think about it, YOU are the only one that is always there, YOU are the only one who can make yourself happy, YOU are with YOU forever. So with that being said, take time, be it daily, weekly, monthly.. to pamper yourself, treat yourself to something nice, take time of and do what you want to do, screw what others think.
I haven't written in my live journal in a few months (around 5 months), as quickly as those months seemed to have flown by alot has happened. It's actually kind of amazing to look back in time to see how much has changed, how much each and everyone of us has grown, all the events from the little minute occurrences to those rare "kodak" worthy moments. Looking back can bring smiles and tears, even little chuckles. Sometimes/usually we don't realize how important each moment is that passes us, until we recollect, sure some moments are pushed/washed away into our subconscious while others are always there floating around in our minds, but they all mix together to make us who we are, constantly evolving us into unique individuals.
We are so lucky, each and everyone of us are blessed with the ability to have access to a least the basic necessities to sustain a life. I am so tired of hearing and seeing people take things for granted. My Sweet Sixteen for examples shows everything that is wrong in America, one that people are so over consumed/obsessed with reality tv that they'd rather watch other people live their lives the go out and live their own but two it showcases spoiled brats who throw a bitch fit if they didn't get EXACTLY/ everything they wanted. Honestly, who gives a fuck? There are people in this world who go for days on end without eating, who live each second of their lives constantly looking over their shoulder praying not to get shot. The amazing thing is, how happy these people are, even though they are so poor, so hungry, they enjoy the simple things in life, they don't care about material items. When I have been lucky enough to travel to third world countries, it really put everything into perspective and made me realize even more that we shouldn't take ANYTHING for granted. Sure we all have problems, but instead of always looking into the negative, we're alive and should be enjoying the positive, makes the ride that much more worthwhile.
A week or so ago there was this video clip on MTV (yes i hate this station but i was flipping through the stations) and it brought tears to my eyes.. sure those who know me, know it doesn't take much for me to get all emotional, but this was an MTV news break/interview with this guy who lost both limbs and his left arm to a bomb on his second tour. The amazing thing was, he was smiling, laughing during the interview, and hell even re-learned to wake-boad/water ski.. Now that's impressive. Makes you feel kinda bad for bitching about trivial things. (ok okay i admit we're all entitled to vent, to have bad days, and usually have no control over it) but take a few moments breathe.. as I tell my friends do the karate kid "Inhale saying the grass is green.. exhale saying the sky is blue" repeat three times, 9 out of 10 times it calms the nerves.
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| Who AM I? |
[07 Feb 2008|12:55pm] |
I am who I am. I do not care what people think of me; the only thing that matters that I am happy with myself, flaws included, because you truly only have yourself in life, so why live a life unhappy with yourself because of the thoughts of others when they do not mean anything in terms of your life's book, the bullies do not deserve a staring roll in your life.
Any-who. I am weird, I know and have been told this before. I live life according to the beat of my own drum. I am wild, crazy, loud, random, squeaky, worry-wart, spontaneous, klutzy, flexible, indecisive, hyper, and filled with random knowledge. When I am nervous or excited I sometimes say to much about random things or speak to fast. Often times I get giddy and start jumping up and down and clap my hands or start doing the happy dance. I get random bursts of energy at illogical times, I dance as I am walking or for no reason at all (with or without music), I sometimes break out in song or humming even though my singing voice is horrendous. I laugh so hard I fall over/roll over, even if I am the only one laughing about god knows what. I eat too much chocolate (well, there is never such a thing as in too much in my world) and love penguins- to the point I become extremely giddy whenever I see one. I am smart but have my blonde moments, am illogical yet logical, am messy but clean, an organized mess. I love to travel and read and dance till there is no tomorrow. I like to paint and draw, its a nice way to escape from my trouble and worries and to put/express all my thoughts and emotions via a simple brushstroke or a pencil mark, or any other medium. I watch movies over and over again till most people would get sick of them, but not me! I play video games and dance burlesque. I volunteer at hospitals and for the EPA. I do things in ways that are not considered normal. I am usually almost always positive, have no backbone, and see the greater good in everyone. I have been told I am a breath of fresh Hallmark card, because no matter what situation I am in I make the best of it and have a damn good time. I do not care if I make a fool of myself, as long as I am being true to who I am, and being my true self, screw others opinions. I cuss, I drink, I smoke (well not that much anymore), I have a dirty mind, but don't spread my legs often. I have been to hell and back and will never be the same again because of it, I wish no one to go through the hell i have been through, but will be there for you for support if you have. I hate fighting, but will attempt to stand my ground if you mess with my close friends. I never get mad, the only time I do is driving, yet I just cuss into the steering wheel and never flick people off or roll down my window and yell, it's quite a sight. I love animals, am vegetarian, but do not mind if people eat meat in front of me. I work 50+ hours a week and love to play when I am not. I love being around people yet times I just shut off my phone and love sitting in solitude getting lost in my book curled up infront of the fireplace or curled up in a blanket on the couch. I have flaws, but we all do. I embrace mine and look at them as character builders ones that set me apart from the crowd. I love going to museums, art galleries, zoos, playgrounds, parks..etc and just getting lost in the beauty of the paintings/artifacts or letting my inner kid out and just having a blast. I want to be romanced and I want to romance, I want someone who listens to what I say and who can remember things I do. I find beauty in the little things, and feel they are the most important in life. I view the world and life around me in an odd way. I love to travel and have been fortunate enough to see the world, which has had an enormous impact. I do not take anything for granted, and am thankful for everything I have. I try to live everyday as if it where my last, I want to have fun and laugh, and be appreciated. I have a great sense of humor and just me being myself usually can make almost anyone turn a frown upside down and laugh.
To me everything happens for a reason and the good and the bad help make me a stronger person and shape and mold me into the person I am today. I am expressive, observant, sometimes sarcastic, and sometimes add delectable imagery and descriptive words to my every day phrases/talk.
I am a computer nerd, technologically inclined, I love to build, remodel, garden, am a "tool belt diva" I play the piano and the banjo. I like all forms of music from the Appalachian to folk to classical to country to classics to swamp rock to hardcore to death metal to electroclash to bastard pop to bluegrass to jazz to acoustic to electronic to progressive to hip hop to punk to synth.. etc I love movies from film noirs to foreign to art house to the low budget to those cult campy films to the thinking man's to horror to documentaries to biographies to underground to the tear jerkers to humor laugh riots to the nail biters to the romantics to the chick flicks to the gangsters to the testosterone filled to the epics..etc I love art in any and all forms. To me every day is an adventure. I am an oddball. Awesomely lame and proud of it
I am that one person who walks into walls, doors, chairs, tables, pretty much anything, i often trip over myself even if im standing still (when sober) i often wake up with random bruises, how i got them.. the world may never know. Whenever my friends trip or fall they say "OMG I just pulled a Melissa" even when no one around them knows me.
I care about the world, and actually try to do something about it/make a difference/impact. Instead of being lazy and donating money I am actually on the front lines spending my time cleaning up beaches/wet lands, serving meals to the homeless, working in the IC Burn unit or terminal ward. Raising awareness of the wars/genocides in Africa, poverty in Hati, the abandoned kids in orphanages in Romania..
I will always be there for you, even If i don't know you, I will drop everything in an instant and do all that i can to help you any time you need. I wear my heart on my sleeve and always see the greater good in people.I love laying outside in the grass and watching the clouds float by, trying to find shapes in the clouds or looking up to the midnight sky and getting lost in the stars. I find beauty in sunsets and sunrises.I love overcast days (mainly because its sunny all the time here), and love playing in the rain :D
The fresh crisp air of the outdoors gives me an instant natural high. Nature and the outdoor world is my church, and the expereience/connection of being outdoors is my form of a "religious" experience. I find beauty and "blessings" in the little things life/nature/outdoors has to offer such as, watching sea turtles escape and crawl their way out of the sand and scurry into the ocean, or a the thought of tiny hummingbird nests holding tinier eggs. These seemingly simple events help put into perspective that there is something paramount, of a higher caliber, outside our own selves, so great it is fruitless to: attempt to describe it, put it to words, even to mold it into individual images of own ourselves. It just is how it is. When I see/am surrounded by a gorgeous sunset/sunrise, a gorgeously amazing breathtaking view, beautiful moon, sun/moon light reflecting off the clouds, etc.. I act like a little kid in a candy shop, I instantly become super excited, giddy and happy, all my worries seem to wash away. I sometimes call up my friends, no matter the hour, in order to spill my excitement even if the person does not really care. lol. Whether it is snowboarding down a mountain (even with a few tumbles), exploring the ocean's depths and underground caverns, hiking for miles into the great unknown, biking for miles along the coast or up a steep mountain face, walking off into the sunset, camping in the immense forest or jungle; Feeling as though you're the only living/human around for miles- away from the hustle bustle of everyday life- free from technology-responsibility being one with nature is heaven on earth for me.Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars... and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful.
Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are. ~Osho
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